Bells of wedding past?

So, as I sit here at home day after day, night after night, I can't seem to get the thought of Kyle and I having a *real* wedding out of my head. Obviously our first wedding was very impromptu to say the least and a lot of family wasn't able to attend along with the fact that all the little details of a wedding, I was unable to experience. We never had a honeymoon. We don't have *professional* photos. Even though I'm thankful for Bill and Christine for acting as photogs during our quaint ceremony,... I'd still like to have professional photos of all of us all spiffed up and stuff. I'd like to have a *real* reception as opposed to a BBQ with sheet cake (even though that cake WAS good!). So, I've been giving it a lot of thought... and I've been compiling photos of "inspiration" for when we renew our vows. My ideas are far from ordinary. Almost so much so that it's hard to find photos of what I'm thinking of. The only EXACT detail I have is that it must be an autumn wedding! How can anyone resist all the beautiful colors?? Here are some pictures of what I'm thinking!






I really love old churches and old buildings in general and I like the idea of getting married in one, but if it's still in service I don't know the rules about that as I'm sure one of us at least would need to be that religion or whatever... Not exactly sure the rules how that goes but even being married outside near one would be cool.... or even just for photos. I'd really like an outdoor candlelight reception... I think it would be really romantic and intimate as I don't plan on having hundreds of people there (...I don't think I even KNOW a hundred people....)


What do you think?

Appointments, appointments, appointments, oh my!

Hey all. So much happens everyday that I could talk about, but the problem is that so much happens that it is hard to find the time. At the end of last week, Kyles appointment with the PA did not go so well. He was not listening to what we were telling him and seemed rather annoyed that we were even there. We brought up Kyles new iritability and aggressiveness and he sort of shrugged it off. I asked the doc about JRTC and what affects that could have on Kyle if he is forced to go. I told him that I am concerned since with his increase in mood swings, if he is away for an entire month surrounded by the people that piss him off most 24/7 ...not able to take a break and get away from anyone,... my fear is, he'll snap and he'll injur one of the other guys. The PA kept saying "You just have to keep control" and "Sometimes that's just life." I got so pissed. I was like "Yeah. I get that. We all have to deal with stressfull situations, not all of us have to deal with a TBI though... where the line between what is appropriate and what is not, is blurred or sometimes not even there." We both left there feeling like noone understood what was going on, or even cared that it was. He gave Kyle another med for his headaches, midrin? I don't know the spelling. And also a steroid. Kyle had staff duty Saturday, so we basically didn't have a weekend since he did that sat am to sun am. Monday it was back to the cognitive therapist. Kyle made mention of how he was having a really bad headache, so she only did 2 exersices with us that were super short and she was giving kyle all of the answers. Totally pointless if you want to actually see where he is improving or not. Idiot. Tuesday Kyle went to mental health for his irritibility problems and they told him to call military onesource. Wednesday, back to the therapist--- oh wait. No. Sorry. She canceled as we were sitting in the waiting room. Called Kyle on his cell to cancel. While we were sitting in the waiting room. We were just about fed up at this point and I had Ky call onesource while we were sitting in the car. He has an appointment with a behavioral therapist tomorrow at noon. Luckily, onesource is off base and not employed by military. Thank you, God. We went back to the neurologist today and luckily this meeting went better. But, he also gave kyle 3 new meds. I'm getting sick of going to the pharmacy. Kyle is giving these last meds a go at it before he tells the PA enough is enough and we're going to try to go a more herbal-natural route since obviously all these drugs have not been working. The crappy thing though is that we will have to pay out of pocket- but anything to get this kid some relief!
After his neuro appointment, we had to go to cognitive therapy again and the lady had him working on the computer basically doing the same stuff he did before where she would show him a serious of pictures or words and he would then have to remember them/where they were placed/etc... it was tons of fun. Oh and yeah, he has staff duty again today so he won't get out of work until the morning. Oh, and yeah, he has staff duty again on Saturday- so there goes our weekend.
Monday I have an appointment for the kidney ultrasound and then on the 13th I have to go back to the urologist and have a scope put in my bladder. I've been dutiful about taking my meds (usually I don't take them, because they've never worked in the past million years they've prescribed them... so why start now???) oh well. I've taken them when I was suppose to so hopefully they'll say my urine isn't AS infected as it was last time and hopefully we can get the bottom and get some answers.
I sold $130 worth of clothes/shoes/purses today so that was an upside to the recent events. I've been totally overhauling our house and getting rid of a TON of stuff. Maybe it's one of those de-clutter your living space so you can de-clutter your mind sort of thing.... but also, I want things super organized for Kyle since remembering things is difficult. I cleaned out our master bedroom closet and made it his very own organized Army closet so that it will be easier for him to get ready in the mornings because everything will have a place.

Anyway- I just wanted to give a quick update. Hope all is well!!!

xoxoxo xamillion.

Book, Sun, Green...

Well, I took Kyle to his cognitive therapy appointment today and it went pretty good. She did a lot of tests where she would say a series of words and Kyle would have to repeat them or he would listen to a short story and then have to answer questions about it and so forth. The tests were mainly to test his recall memory and problem solving. On the total test he placed right at the "Mild TBI" mark and she gave us some tips on how to help re-work his brain. She is ordering him a PDA so he can keep track of all of his appointments/ when to take his pills and how much to take/ to write down any new symptoms or situations he was in that is worrisome, etc, etc... Hopefully that will help but the problem is you have to REMEMBER to use it... and since his memory is the problem here... it's sort of a catch 22. Kyle has to go back to therapy 2-3 times a week. He has his 2nd Neurology appointment tomorrow and the lady from therapy said that while she was discussing Kyles case with the PA, she would bring up the fact that Kyle has been placed on 24 hour staff duty for this Saturday AND talk about how he is suppose to go to JRTC in Louisianna for OVER an entire month. Obviously he can't go to therapy and other necessary appointments if he isn't even in the right state. Hopefully the PA will make a call over to Kyles leadership and tell them to seriously knock off their crap and take this situation seriously. We'll see what happens though....

Just wanted to update everyone quick... I'm sure I'll update tomorrow after the neurology appointment...

xoxo

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

So... remember how my last post says that we don't need anything? Well, Ky and I went to a thrift shop today and I am convinced that I actually DO need this. Obviously we don't have babies yet.... but the day will come. Right? I hope. And when it does, this would be PERFECT. Oh sweet crib, I'm in love.


I don't think it could be any more beautiful. It was only $799 ....yeah, only. If I was pregnant or had a tiny tot right now, I totally would have bought it though. I don't care. They had an antique black buggy too but the cover was broken.

sigh....

TBI?

Well, everyone has been asking how Kyle is doing so I thought it might be easier to just write a general update so everyone can read this rather than us having to relay back to every single person about everything that is going on. As I'm sure you all know, Kyle had a "bad jump", I won't go into that whole story but he ended up with a concussion and rather than giving him a thorough going over, the medics told him to just go to sick call Monday morning. Kyle really didn't think anything was wrong other than a sore head/neck/back from the fall and obviously dealing with the fact that he jumped out of a perfectly good plane, almost to his death due to his chute malfunction. He said that he wasn't sure if he'd be able to jump again because now all he would be able to think about is what this last jump resulted in. Anyway- my parents came to visit that following week- Kyle went to sick call Monday and got a profile basically telling him to take it easy and get plenty of sleep. When Kyle said that they didn't give him any referrals or did any head scans or anything, I was amazed. Kyle figured that still nothing was wrong and he just needed to rest his sore muscles. That week, his company was going out to the field Wednesday to Friday, I begged him not to go but atlas, he didn't listen. He had just gotten his own team and really wanted to prove himself. Well, when he got back, it was hard to ignore that he had a real problem. It was more apparent that he was forgetting simple things. To start the laundry or dishwasher or even what he was trying to say. This has gotten worse and he's started forgetting things such as draining the pasta noodles BEFORE putting butter/cheese/milk in or how to use the debit machine at the walmart checkout. He has headaches 24/7, he gets easily confused, and when speaking he often slurs his words or will stumble over words and sentences. I told him to go back to sick call and tell them that his symptoms are getting worse. Finally, they referred him to the neurology clinic and sent him to have CAT scans done. Mind you, the scans will take 2-3 weeks to get back. For some reason. Anyway, we went for his initial visit at the neurology clinic and the guy did a bunch of tests and reffered Kyle for cognitive therapy. He has another appointment this Friday to just keep the PA posted on his progress or lack thereof. Kyle attended a "TBI class" yesterday where he recieved a lot of information that will hopefully be useful. Kyle was suppose to go to the field this week but I told him to fight it and not go because it would only hinder any progress that he may have. He got a new profile from the PA that says he is non-deployable (for now...even though it's (profiles) just a "suggestion") and the only physical activities he can do is walking at his own pace and anything he lifts can't be over 10 LBS. They have him on an array of different medications. Right now he is currently on Zoloft, Ambien, Naproxen, baclofen, and maxalt (i think... or something similar) They had him on Celebrex but they had him stop that, and I can't remember if there was anything else he was on. He is going to ask the PA this Friday if he can stop taking the zoloft because apparently it's for his headaches, even though it hasn't worked for such and they put him on the maxalt so it doesn't make sense to me to have him on 2 different drugs for headaches. Esspecially when neither of them seem to be working. He is getting worse every day but at this point I can't tell if these new or worsening symptoms are because of his condition or if it's from the plethora of drugs he's on. There is definite personality changes and yesterday morning was interesting to say the least. Kyle always wakes up before me and does his morning routine of brushing his teeth, shaving, taking harley out, etc... and I wake up at the last minute possible in order to get him to work on time. Well, after doing his stuff, before I needed to get up, he jumped on the bed over me and was bouncing up and down petitioning for me to get out of bed. Then he said "Get out of bed or i'm going to shave your arm!" and without hesitation or giving me an honest chance to respond, he got in a good 2 strokes of the razor on the back of my arm before I yelled "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET OFF!!!" Then, when I was reliving that moment in the car driving him to work, he didn't remember it at all. I swear, I was not dreaming. It really happened. So needless to say, every morning scares me because I'm afraid what the day is going to unveil in terms of his progress. But, we'll remain diligent and I refuse to let the Army push him around and bully him into doing things that could danger his health/life.


In other news, Kyle and I have been talking about birthdays since his is practically around the corner. Usually I have great ideas of what he wants and what I want to get him and he'll have tons and tons of presents to open on his birthday but this year, I'm stumped. We got to talking about it and we've decided that right now we have enough STUFF, plenty of THINGS, we really don't need more. Within the last few weeks we have decided that we plan on moving back to NY and buying/building a house...obviously the conditions depend on what happens with Kyle but if he ends up with a medical discharge, we will move together or if he does get stuck deploying, I will be moving back and doing it all myself. (SCARY!) But we decided not to do much of anything for each others birthdays since we are trying to save money to be able to afford a house and we would really appreciate any help in this respect. If you planned on getting him a gift or sending him (or me when the time comes) a gift card for his/my birthday (or any other holiday/celebration in between) we'd like to ask you to please just send us money to put toward our house fund. If you only planned on spending 10 bucks, that's fine, just send 10 bucks. It all adds up and at least this way it will be incredibly useful and meaningful to us and you can all take part (even with five bucks haha) in helping us buy our home! Seriously, it would mean a lot to us. Right now we are going through EVERYTHING and selling a lot of stuff we don't use/wear/need/like etc in order to make space ( and make moving a lot easier!!) and money for our house!

Alright, I'll update more in order to keep you posted on Kyle. Prayers would be nice!

xoxo

SHiNE MAGAZiNE is available for pre-order!

Hey ladies and gents! I haven't posted in so long because I've just been SO busy with SHiNE. I am now the managing editor and am working with some wonderful people! This magazine is such a great thing and will bring so much glory to god. We are really aching to light a fire in the souls of this generation. My brother in-law Bill is currently working on the official website for the magazine and he has done such a wonderful job already... it's really just up to us to get him the stuff that he needs to put on it. We are making progress. Well, like my title says,.... you can actually pre-order your subscription to SHiNE TODAY!

Click here to secure your copy(ies) of SHiNE now!


Obviously I am very excited to be working on this project. All of the proceeds will go into missions/charities so you can be sure that your subscription money will be going towards wonderful things. We have so many ideas for communities around the United States and how to inject the world with the love of God through the arts.

If anyone would like to contact me for business purposes (if you want to write articles for us, take pictures, or if you have any connections with people of interest, etc...) please email me at kkiggins@girlsthatshine.com


Kyle is actually working on some articles to go into the magazine as well so even he is getting involved!!! Yay!

As for non-SHiNE related news... not much different than usual, Kyle is working crazy hours, we pretty much get no time together. The weather has been relatively mild, thankfully. I'm so sick of the cold. Last we heard we're looking at August for deployment. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I feel like he tested his luck enough the first time in Iraq, I don't want him to have to go back and have us both living in fear asking ourselves; "Is today the day?". Oh well, I guess that's when you just pray extra hard and beg God.

Well, I'm off for now...lots to do!

with love,
your very own-

girl that shines.

Click Here